Sisters

Over the past 22 years I have, at times, been more than blessed with the people that have entered into our journey with Beth. They have appeared into our lives for many different reasons.

When Beth was born she had the most amazing nurses in the special care baby unit. They showed endless care and patience to Beth and us as a family. They would stand beside my husband and I as we asked a never ending stream of questions. One nurse in particular, not only met Beth’s physical needs but also came alongside me in prayer. Her faith was strong and steadfast and she told me to fix my eyes on Jesus and trust. We also had a physiotherapist who was a powerhouse in her positivity telling me ‘Beth will sit up, Beth will walk’ and she was right! Wow she never allowed any of us to linger in negativity for too long. She was never afraid to reprimand us if we ever tried to do so.

Whilst I will always be indebted to the individuals mentioned above and many like them, our greatest respect and gratitude is reserved for two very special girls….Beth’s sisters. They have poured out their unconditional love and unending support from the minute Beth was born. They have been on either side of Beth all her life. It was never our plan for Rebecca and Lucy to fulfil the role that they do everyday, they were meant to play with their baby sister and embark upon all the things that sisters are meant to do together. Don’t get me wrong they did all of the things sisters do but not in a way any of us ever envisaged. When Beth was in hospital they would sit outside the special care unit and play with their toys, whilst I spent time with Beth. Their dad and I could trust them to behave and do as they were asked, never adding to what was already a stressful time. They never complained that their mum and dad were often absent in the evening for a bedtime story. They also witnessed their mum and dad cry despite our best efforts to hide our emotions. When Beth would have a seizure, which for them at such a young age must have been terrifying, they would sit quietly watching for the ambulance and if it was during the day and I was on my own, they would open the door and let the paramedics in. Their respective ages at the time were 5 years and 3 years. When Beth was put on a life support machine they knew not to ask too many questions but always sensed when their dad or I needed a special hug or kiss. When both sisters were at primary school and their baby sister did not follow in their footsteps they fielded off questions from their peers, as to why Beth wore a different uniform to them. Family outings with friends was always good fun but with an added layer of responsibility for them. It is now a standing joke that the question always asked when playing hide and seek, or exploring in their favourite Crawfordsburn country park. Who has Beth? I was also the mum with the biggest first aid kit! And that’s how it has been for both sisters.

The girls formed their friendship groups based on one thing, that the sisters came as a unit that included Beth. When boyfriends started to appear they had to be prepared to include Beth in many activities and understand, that Beth was and always will be, a pivotal element in their daily lives. When Beth’s eldest sister’s future husband asked her dad if they could get married later this year he told my husband that he understood Beth would be part of his future too.

The two sisters each have their emotional moments too although thankfully not at the same time! They usually sit down beside me and quietly break their hearts because they simply love Beth more than anything and at times fear for her future. They seek out her company and her friendship. They love Beth’s humour and simplicity and in return Beth effortlessly infuses them with a feeling of completeness.

As parents we always emphasised to Beth’s sisters that Beth was our responsibility and that they were always free to chart their own path in life and to follow their own destiny. Yet they both in their very different ways incorporate Beth into their daily lives, because they choose to.

Now I should add here that it isn’t all hearts and hugs, they can argue and fight and lose their patience with Beth, particularly when she is ringing them for the 20th time whilst they are at work, or having a weekend lie in! She bombards them with questions and when these are exhausted she asks the very same questions all over again. When both sisters lived at home my husband and I never needed to ask where they were going at weekends, or what time they would be home at Beth would do that for us! She was stricter than any parent I know.

Through it all her sisters have grown and developed into the most amazing strong independent women their dad and I have the privilege of knowing. They are fiercely protective of Beth and any other vulnerable individuals they meet. They openly and actively challenge all prejudice that they encounter and embrace and advocate inclusion wherever they go. Beth has taught them tolerance and compassion, they hold tight to their faith despite the fact they would admit it has been sorely tested.

Both daughters have at times without being aware of it, saved their dad and I. This is something that as parents you would never think of ever having to admit to, but we have come to learn both individually and together as a family, that this journey we are on is just very much like that.

So girls when you read this… know that your dad and I will always be eternally grateful for all that you do, the seen and most of all the unseen.

The unshakable truth is, and I know we all truly recognise this, that throughout it all we are surrounded by Beth’s love and most of all that amazing smile, what more could we,as a family, ask for.