Family

If there is one thing that I have learnt throughout the past 23 years is that family is everything. They are; your go to people, your strength, support and forever faithful. Without my family I know for sure Beth would not be the wonderful individual she is today and I would have foundered years ago.

When Beth was born I only got to hold her for a few minutes before she was taken to the special care baby unit. I asked my husband to ring my mum and he put the phone to my ear. Mum will often recall our conversation, it was brief and to the point… ‘Mum please go and see my baby, we need you’. When my mum came up to the ward, both my husband I knew from her face that she was worried but in true mum style she smiled and reassured us both that everything would be fine. That’s how it has been for the past 23 years and beyond, mum in the background holding us all up and holding my mum is my dad.

In our family my mum and dad are known as granny and papa and they are the centre of Beth’s universe, they give her a feeling of security, safety and a never ending supply of love. She loves them unconditionally and tells them every single day ‘I love you granny and papa’. Every morning before work Beth steps through our garden gate, opens their back door and you can hear her shout ‘morning granny’ this is quickly followed by ‘hi papa’. There usually ensues a conversation about how well Beth is looking and a detailed account of what the day ahead holds for everyone.

In the early days my mum and dad looked after Beth and her sisters, whilst I was able to work fulltime and pursue my career. They shared in taking on, the responsibility of her treatment and therapy and my mum was always there to wipe away my tears which was, back then, most days. My mum was and still is, my voice of reason. When Beth was hospitalised my husband, mum and I worked as a team, sharing feeds and visiting time. My ever-dependable dad would be ‘holding the fort’ back home with Beth’s sisters.

I look back now and I am in awe of what my mum and dad have done for our girls but in particular Beth. They have been there every single step of the way with my husband and I.

One particular memory I have is when Beth had a review appointment with the occupational therapist. These reviews were always quite stressful, as I would endeavour to record all the improvements and progression I felt, as a mum, Beth had made since the last appointment. Beth and I would set off together, dressed in our best and I would be full of positivity and optimism. This particular appointment however was, to say the least, more than a little negative!

I remember relaying to the professionals all what Beth could do and how hard we had worked at home to develop Beth’s motor skills. The occupational therapist waited for me to finish and then turned and said ‘well you understand that those are merely functional things that Beth is attempting, there is absolutely no skill involved’. My heart plummeted, my positivity shattered and through my tears I looked down at my beautiful baby daughter, sitting propped up on the floor. To me she had every skill in the world and if she didn’t, she had a family that would more than compensate for anything, that the so-called professionals said she lacked.

I broke my heart that day, I was being denied the joy of just loving my baby as she was. I drove home to my mum and dad’s house, my mum saw me at the top of her driveway and she simply came to me holding out her arms. Mum had been waiting for me and seen my face and felt my sadness.

My mum had always made things right for me when things were wrong and there on that driveway, I wanted her to take this away for me and make everything ok again.

Of course Mum was unable to change anything, but she has over the years offered something so much better. She has walked beside me, always full of faith and hope, she has shared often the load with my husband and I. Mum taught me resilience and always to believe in myself and my abilities. I am an expert of picking myself up, dusting myself down and forging ahead. I believe I have my mum to thank for this spirit of tenacity, the same spirit that I know Beth also possesses.

Mum’s motto has always been to ‘live a life of love ‘and through example she has passed this onto all three of her granddaughters. Together Granny and Papa are a constant in their lives and an anchor for Beth.

For me, my mum will always epitomise the value of family life.